Last weekend I did a wonderful and challenging 14 mile walk to the next town, Guilford, where I was able to hop on the commuter train back to Branford. The majority of the walk was on paths through some beautiful woodlands along the shoreline. One section I walked for more than 3 hours without seeing another soul. A good time for reflecting…
Looking back at many of my life’s adventures from today’s vantage point I found myself asking which were attempts to run away and which were destinations. Clearly, my running after my mother’s car upon being deposited the first time at nursery school and certainly the time when, at 15 years old with only $10 in my pocket, I hitchhiked to Miami, were instances of a confused young boy running away. This is not the place to discuss the fears and demons propelling me.
Later in life “adventures” looked to all the world as amazing opportunities. Sailing trips, drives across the country and visits to other countries all look rewarding. But were they really? And what of this Camino business? Am I trying to avoid some aspect of my life in Connecticut? My living alone, advancing age, economic issues real or perceived? Or am I walking to discover answers to certain questions, known and those not yet asked?
The bottom line I have concluded is to not judge past, present, or future. When I today view my past escapades from a neutral vantage point it is clear that my life unfolded just as it was supposed to. If I can carry that perspective with me to the present then all my walks will work out perfectly. I have the wonderful opportunity to be present and participate fully in my life….